A Successful Marriage

I wish I knew the recipe for a successful marriage.   Although I think the recipe is different for every couple, I have been collecting tips and ideas that may be common to all couples.

480304_10151037275888859_59169761_nThey research by Psychologist John Gottman on relationships shows that it’s okay for couples to fight, and that some disagreement can even be healthy.  The key is there must be enough positive interaction to outweigh the bad, with a ratio of 5 to 1.

This couple shares the secret to surviving 75 years together, “you have to speak each other’s language.”  What they mean is that you have to really listen to what the other person is saying.  Researchers agree that this one behavior is a driving force behind a lot of mental health issues in relationships.  The act of listening helps your partner feel supported, connected, understood and builds them up to be able to support you in return.

A younger man received similar advice from his father, and explains how this helped him understand that Marriage Isn’t for Him…  but rather it’s about making it the best possible experience for your partner.  I love the question from his wife and think that may also be helpful in my personal relationship – “What does it mean to love selflessly?”

Maybe you have figured out how to make your own relationship work.  These people write about the lessons learned during the first year of marriage.   Please share this with people who may benefit from these ideas, especially people living in these areas of high divorce rates.

 

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