Unexpected Answers

I feel constantly in search of an answer for “How to Be Happy”?  Some of the ideas I thought were answers:

  • Fake it till you make it
  • Find a deeper understanding for everything, the more we know about how behavior works the more we can control our emotions
  • Happiness is relative, so keep reminding myself of how much worse my situation could be
  • Happy people had a good childhood and they are able to carry that happiness throughout life
  • It’s all in the brain, everyone’s brain is wired differently and some people are naturally more happy or more satisfied while others struggle to achieve happiness on a regular basis.  Some of these people have such dramatic brain issues that they need drugs to avoid harmful depression.
  • Focus on the little things that bring me bits of joy, avoiding the bigger issues that limit deep and true happiness
  • Keep making changes to keep life new and exciting, without finding a way to achieve happiness without those regular changes.

OK happy face_fullAs it turns out, by trying to ignore the things that cause pain and misery, I also dulled the joys of life.  At least, that’s what I’m thinking now after watching this TED Talk by Brené Brown.

I have always been sensitive.  I cry very easily, and as a kid I hated being called a crybaby.  Now as an adult, I cry when sad, happy, angry, just about every emotion comes out in tears.  Which is hard for my boyfriend because it makes it harder for him to read my emotions.  I wish I didn’t cry so easily, and I really wish I could control it in public.

That is one of the reasons I have tried to limit my vulnerabilities.  If I am vulnerable, there is more potential for me to cry.  So I tried to cut out vulnerabilities, but that has probably had a severe effect on my relationships with friends, family, and my boyfriend.  By trying to be independent, and not rely on others, it’s been hard to form stronger bonds with people.

I would love to hear from others who think they may have similar experiences.

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