One of the benefits of my boyfriend is I’m pretty sure that I know what I’m getting. I may not like everything about the way he behaves, but I am confident there is nothing hidden behind the scenes. But in general, I don’t think that’s true with most people. I concede that one can never be 100% certain, and it’s awful to hear about the situations where people are caught off guard about their friends, spouses, or children.
Last week, an admin manager at my company plead guilty to two counts of embezzlement with previous employers. We are all very surprised that such a person could be hired by our firm to begin with. I have also heard the stories of a former employer who was fired after downloading or printing inappropriate photos at the office. This was before my time and I never met this person, so I have no idea what their personality was or how they interacted with people.
I just finished the book Between Good and Evil, which is a memoir of sorts by Roger L. Depue who was leading developer of criminal profiling with the FBI. What they learned in the early years of the program, is how the sophisticated serial killers hide among us as normal and regular people. They also discovered the pattern of genetic characteristics in people subject to terrible abuse at a young age, common in these people who became unremorseful killers.
We all have been surprised by the character of people we thought we knew well. And we all have been in vulnerable situations where the character of the people around us are critical to our safety. Especially as young people, we often do not think to maintain a safety system in case of emergency, or avoid putting ourselves in vulnerable situations.